By the name of the post and the fact that it’s ME talking (after all, nothing good ever happens to the poor human-bird hybrid) you can probably guess that nothing good happened. Well, if you guessed that, you’re right. After hiding in my room for the two days following my little “experience with CPR” I … Continue reading Revenge, It’s Chilly and Tastes Like Dead Fish →

Ugh. I still have that terrible taste in my mouth. It’s part rotten fish, part old man sweat. I swear, sometimes, I have absolutely no intelligence. No, that’s wrong. I DO have intelligence, I just don’t always choose to use it… Anyways, enough about my level of “smartness”. I might as well go out and … Continue reading Experiences with CPR →

No matter what you may think, I did NOT order any Victoria’s Secret underwear. I do not “enjoy expressing my feminine side” through expensive bras. So, I woke up this morning to the sound of music blasting, and screaming from outside. Like any normal human being (or Avian American) would do, I ran into the … Continue reading My New Victoria’s Secret Underwear →

Well, I took a dare from a reader, War the second apocalytic horseman, and it didn’t turn out too well… If you don’t already know, she dared me to write tomorrow’s date on the back of my neck. My “expiration date” of sorts. So, yeah, I decided to have a little fun. I wrote 6/2/12 … Continue reading Expiration Date →

I finally found out what they were planning for me. Three words. I love Max. It was either that, or kiss Max in her sleep, and I’m NOT that creepy. Yeah, so apparently, they were planning to make me say those three words, on my blog, where everyone can read it. There were a few … Continue reading Truth or Dare →

Something weird’s going on. I can feel it… Strangely, I haven’t been pranked since the pink-wing incident (The paint hasn’t worn off yet!). Everything around the house has been kind of quiet. Nudge hasn’t written any love poems about me and Max and our “52 children”. Gazzy and Iggy haven’t blown anything up; Angel’s been, … Continue reading Paranoid →

If you’re thinking of giving Nudge a paint set (especially one with those neon colors), well… please don’t. Yeah, (as happens most of times) I didn’t have a great day. In fact, this day was far from it. So, this morning, while walking down the stairs, I fell into the trap of a few bratty … Continue reading The Neon Part of Me →

Turns out, after fainting, Dr. M doesn’t remember a thing. Or at least is pretending not to. You kinda have to thank Iggy. After she fainted, he had the idea to stick her back in her bed and pretend that nothing ever happened. So, we got lucky this time. At least, until someone lets something … Continue reading Strange Pictures of Me… →

Sorry about yesterday… Yeah, turns out, I wasn’t dying. But I DID have a mild concussion. So I’m kind of right. Not really. According to Iggy, Max and I are now “married”. Before the rumors start flying, let me tell you that that is NOT true. Well, sort of. See, we weren’t really married. Just … Continue reading Married at 15… →

Oh God, I think I’m internally bleeding. I think I have brain damage. I need a doctor! While there’s a good chance that I might be dying, I might as well get started on my will. OK, let’s get started. Firstly, I leave my nerdy collection of comic books to Iggy. To Gazzy, I return … Continue reading My Will →