My Will

Oh God, I think I’m internally bleeding. I think I have brain damage. I need a doctor!

While there’s a good chance that I might be dying, I might as well get started on my will.

OK, let’s get started. Firstly, I leave my nerdy collection of comic books to Iggy. To Gazzy, I return all the bombs and other assorted explosives I stole from over the years. Uh… Nudge, you can have that crappy half-used Halloween makeup hidden in the secret door in my closet (Yes, I do have a secret door in my closet!). Max, you can have all that gross jewelry Iggy gave to me as a joke (have fun with that). Lastly, Angel, you can have that girly bike in the garage that isn’t really mine. So, yeah, enjoy.

Who am I forgetting? Oh, yeah, Total!

Total, um… you can have… well, I give you permission to marry Akila. As like your legal guardian. Or something like that.

While I’m waiting for the ambulance, that’s probably never going to come, I might as well tell you what happened. Brace yourself.

I was attacked by a lamp. Kind of.

I was just walking down the hallway, minding my own sexy business, when the lamp in the hallway decided to fall on me. Specifically, my head.

Yeah. Didn’t feel too good. So, I managed to drag my mangled body into the Workroom-

Oh no. The pain! I think I’m dying… dying… dying…

Yeah, no. I’m not really dying.

At least, I hope not. You NEVER know…

Fly on.

-Fang