Experiences with CPR

Ugh. I still have that terrible taste in my mouth. It’s part rotten fish, part old man sweat. I swear, sometimes, I have absolutely no intelligence.

No, that’s wrong. I DO have intelligence, I just don’t always choose to use it… Anyways, enough about my level of “smartness”.

I might as well go out and say it, if I don’t, I’ll have a bunch of reviews asking, “Fang, did you make out with an old guy?” The answer is no. I didn’t make out with any kind of guy. I didn’t even make out with Max (I’m pretty sure her breath doesn’t smell like rotten fish and old man sweat, if you know what I mean…). I didn’t make out with anyone. Well, not really.

For almost a week now (ever since the so-called “Victoria’s Secret accident”), the Flock has been over at Dr. M’s friend’s lake house up on Lake Michigan.

So, Iggy and Gazzy got me involved in a plan that’s related to me kissing Max (they threatened to make me wear THE underwear if I didn’t). It didn’t turn out so well, just like every other thing in my crazy jacked-up life.

According to Iggy, Max had taken a CPR class about two weeks ago, and if I pretended to be choking, she’s have to give me mouth-to-mouth. Then, Iggy and Gazzy would plaster it all over the internet, which I wasn’t too thrilled about…

Turns out that Max doesn’t actually know CPR. No, the only person there who knew CPR was Dr. M’s friend; a big, fat, old, sweaty guy.

With my FANTASTIC acting skills, I pretended to fall in the lake and choke, then Gazzy dragged me out and shouted, “Anyone know CPR? Max?” Not a giveaway at all.

At that point, Max shook her head, and I was about to sit up and say that I thought I was suddenly better, but before I had the chance, the guy ran up and practically jumped on me. Anyone else getting some bad Fuy (Fang/random guy pairing) images?

It was SO gross. I ran screaming out of there as fast as I could, which pretty much blew the whole plan.

Now I’m in my room, where I will stay FOREVER. Or until dinner. Whichever comes first.

Fly on.

-Fang